This doesn't feel right!!!

Well anywho I think Michael is back into drugs.
Don't know if he is it's not like I've seen him.

Fuck he spends more time with Sams girlfriend than what he does with me.

I love him but to be honest I felt better when I wasn't with him cause at least then he wasn't always in my head and wondering when the next time I was going to see him and also if he's taking drugs.

God I don't know what to dooooooooooo.

Just having a moan.

I'm so confuced right now... about everything but most of all me and Michael.

He was supposed to come up for me last wednesday but he never so on thursday Me and Maxine went up for Sam and Michael was there and he says he was ill.. then he said he would come up for me on friday and did he show??? no he never. I havn't even heard from him Then Eddie just asked me there if me and Michael where still going out shouldn't Eddie know he see's Michael more than me.
Now i'm confuced if we are still going out I don't know what to think why the fuck did he ask me back out if he isn't even gonna fucken bother with me.

Also when i'm with him i'm so fucken happy but when i'm not I have second thoughts and me not having trust in men doesn't help cause I always get all these stupid negetive thoughts going throught my head. I guess I have only one person to blame for that my mum as she always says * A standing cock has no shame*.

And thats what always going through my head could Michael just be using me........ but I don't think Michael is like that.

But i'm just so paranoid I don't know what to think anymore.

OOO I wish someone could just give me and answer to put my head at reast.
Cause I love Michael alot and i'm really fucken scared incase he dumps me again.

Owell I guess I will just have to wait and see.