ABSENTHE!!!!

ABSENTHE IS GOD.

I never thought I would like anything more than vodka but i've discovered absenthe.

On saturday me Cheryl and Maxine had absenthe and vodka I sneaked Mark and Iain in and hid them udner my bed it was fun but then they left about 9 ish so it got kinda crap.

Cheryl was on the phone to her lover boy most of the night and me and Maxine where dancing abt 12.30 Maxine was sick and passed out. So i was left all alone Mark said I phoned him on saturday night I don't even remember so I think he's lieing lol.

Saturday was so good it was ashame there wasn't more boys there ........haha I started agruing with my dad about fuck knows what. Also when Cheryl finally got of the phone. We talked till 3ish or somthing about stupid stuff well not really stupid but.....

I woke up at 9.00 am yesterday without having a hangover.

I thank absenthe for that.

well bye

Hahaha.....

Right okay.....
When I posted that other post thing last week titled *dumped*.
I sounded so pathetic vodka is the only thing thats helps take the pain away OMG I sounded so EMO!!!!!.

But anyway i'm in such a good mood today hehehe......

I need a pull lol or even better a shag.
Good i'm so fucken horny.

Well bye hope i bumped into a sexy man yeahhh!!

Getting along.....?

Right i've accepted me and Michael aren't going to get back together I still love him of course..... but i'm not as heart broken as I thought I would be. When I see him I do get a weird feeling in my chest and my stomach feels all weird I don't know what that feeling is though i've never had it before.

Michael and I are still going to be friends :) I would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all I hope this friendship will work out though. Michael has been a really good friend and boyfriend over the last 8 months but I hope the good friend part stays. Because over the last 8 months Michael has become my best friend I could tell him anything I completly trusted him and I hope I can still and I hope he wouldn't mind me confinding in him.

The really weird thing is...... i've already got feelings for someone else I thought it would take me ages to get over Michael. It was just last night I realised it was actually over between me and him when we talked on msn after me being so pathetic . So I guess I must have just let him go I wont say I don't love him because I do ALOT. But I knew Michael and I wouldn't last that long I even said to him a few month back we will most likely brake up about summer time and guess what?? WE DID lol.

But anyway bsck to the person I have feelings for I aint going to write his name down (If u read this person i like u will most likely know i'm talking abt you) i've liked him before and i'm sure he said once he liked me to but he didn't want to come in between me and Michael...... but that could have just been a dream lol . He's been a really good friend over the last year even though we have never hanged out or really spoke to each other in person but I feel I can tell him anything and he's so nice and inoccent.... I think.

He's kind off like a big brother to me for some reason I call him that lol. But my feelings for him have got quite strong over the last few days. Though i'm scared to do anything incase I scare him away lol since he's really shy.

But owell ( well Edith best luck and hope your frienship goes well with Michael also all the best with this person you like) lol.

Well bye bye my dear blogness *kisses* lol

DUMPED!!!!!

I can't believe Michael and I arent going out anymore.
I feel really lost with out him as stupid as that sounds he was everything to me even though I cheated on him and said some bad things. But I love him so much i've never loved anyone the way I loved him.

He made me so happy i'ver never been happier in my whole shit life. The last 8 months where fucken grate. And now I just don't know what to do without him apart from drink.

I'm really upset about losing him but Vodka helps take the pain away I know I'm being stupid.

I want to talk to him in school I would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all but i'm scared to go neare him incase he tells me to fuck off.
Also when I saw him yesterday and when I see his friend I act really hyper and try to hide upset I am.Michael can read me like a book though so he probably knows i'm just acting :(.

I wish I was a better girlfriend to him I know he's only 15 we where gonna brake up sooner or later but I wish i didn't happen the way it did because it's all my fault.

I really want me and him to get back together but I doubt he wants that .

But yes if he was to ever ask me back out I would say yes with out a second thought.

Even though he probably won't ask me back out :(.

O god I miss him so fucken much ahhh.